My girlfriend found a dieing bird in our front yard a few weeks ago. When I got to it, it was gone by seconds still warm and limp, probably hit a window to hard. However it didn't get warmer to my touch, It was cooling so i knew it was dead, not stunned. Sharon asked me to bury it, but I took it upstairs and examined it. I don't think I ever noticed how subtle the beauty beautiful the color was on a sparrow before. I considered pinning it up to paint it's wing span , but somehow that didn't feel right, so I dropped it in a jar. I decide to paint it and spend three hours intensely working on it. Not a 100% sure why I don't really like the result.
More interesting was the extremely vivid dream I had that night. I was rolling down a white highway to infinity with a black void on either side of the road. When I say rolling, I mean on roller-skates, but I felt more akin to flying. Suddenly rolling right next to me was a little girl about 4 years old with a awkward sort of prettiness and warm brown hair. She smiled and we rolled along silently for awhile, then the road narrowed and before I could react she was forced off the road into the void. She didn't scream or anything, but somehow inside I knew she was done for. Coming down to her hundreds of feet down from the road. I found her broken, but still alive. She asked me to help her. When I put my hand under her head I felt the blood and broken skull. She asked me," Am I dieing?" I calmly told her yes she was. She asked," am I beautiful?" I sad yes. Then she smiled and died. I woke with a great since of peace tinged with sadness. When I relate the story to Sharon I get very emotional.
What's interesting is when I held the dead bird and painted it I never felt any sadness or creepiness. I just marveled at it's beauty. However, I can't relate the story without feeling sadness. At first glance the dream is a metaphor for the birds sprit going to heaven. I'm not religious or much a a crier so I'm puzzled.